Point:
The increasing access to the information on the internet has created more problems than solutions, especially that of a social nature, because there is an increase of accessibility to personal information.
Explanation:
Ever since the advent of internet, people have been trying to communicate through the net effectively. This thus resulted in many social platforms being founded, such as Facebook and Twitter, which aids in social communication. These platforms had indeed bridge many communication gaps even if both persons are at two different ends of the world. It allows people to remain in close contact even if they might not be physically beside each other.This however has posed a social problem, which is cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is verbal or emotional abuse inflicted through the cyber space. Attackers can be anonymous, making victims feel even more vulnerable since they are being attacked by strangers.
Example:
One example of cyber bullying would be Amanda Todd, a teenager from the United States. As an emotional person, she often voice out her sad thoughts through the net. However, she not only did not receive comfort from strangers, but also insults and verbal abuse from those anonymous users. Furthermore, she was duped into showing racy photos of herself, where the man actually shared the pictures to the internet. Those anonymous users therefore seized the chance and sent her more insults. It reached to the point of her cutting herself and at last ended her life. Even after her death, she was still ridiculed with her last photo of her wrist, filled with cuts and the caption,"Are your jokes still funny?"
Link:
Thus, internet has indeed caused more problems than solutions. It has caused a huge social problem and the problem has gotten worse and worse with more people like Amanda Todd, ending their lives because of the careless words of anonymous users. Because of anonymity, people are often careless about their words and hurt others without knowing, which is a current problem the world is facing.
Sandy Khoo
Maybe u can add examples of solutions inside ur evidence?
ReplyDeleteYour problem is clearly stated. Even though your solution was briefly accounted for, it could be supported with evidence (eg. statistics, etc.) to show the number of users that make use of these social networking sites to communicate. From there, it should be easier to weigh the pros and cons.
ReplyDeleteYou could maybe give a more detailed solution for the con and in your evidence give an example for pro. So that like what val said the weighing part should be easier
ReplyDeleteYou should include a link between communicating through the internet and the increasing access to information on the internet and also include a solution in the example.
ReplyDelete-Nina
Your stand is not clear as it does not relate to the question. Hence, your PEEL seems off-topic as it focuses on the aspect of communication via. social networking sites rather than the issue of an increasing amount of information floating around the net.
ReplyDelete-Chelsea Elia.
Well done mostly. I like the example however I think it should be "linked" back to your point. For example: "This incident shows the use of the internet to cause harm." The linking will make your example more relevant. You did state out problems and solutions and explained them appropriately however the weighing could be better if it showed more clearly that there the internet is more of a bane then a boon. (No much comparison in your link)
ReplyDeleteGood job overall!
- Harindrar :D
Your point is quite vague although you are quite answering the question. Some of your vocabulary is quite good although some of it does not quite fit. I like how you posted the solution and problem in the explanation. However, your link does not have that much comparison which weakens your PEEL.
ReplyDelete- Imanni